Out of the mouths of babes

I had lunch with my son at his school yesterday. I arrived at school just before his class' lunch period and was informed that my child was not in his classroom. I knew from past experience this was not good news. And indeed, he had been overwhelmed by the classroom environment, became frustrated and was in the office completing his work 1:1 with another teacher.

I have to admit that I was rather disappointed. I told him when I dropped him off at school that I would be returning to have lunch with him. For some children, that would have been enough warning to be on their best behavior, at least until the mama left, but my baby. . . I think it was likely more pressure than he needed which led to his inability to regulate himself for the entire morning.

I am however, proud to report that I caught myself mid-fuss and reminded myself of what we had been learning in therapy. I decided that my disapproval or the anticipation of my disapproval is likely playing some role in that day's dysregulation and so I stopped, regulated myself and loved on him instead of fussing.

So, while in the cafeteria, we were sitting at the table, he was doing his level best NOT to cry and it was coming off as defiance and frustration. The kids in his class took me by surprise. I work with special needs children professionally, and I have often observed that children with emotional disorders are sometimes rejected or at least, ignored by their peers. Instead, these kids rallied around him and nearly overwhelmed me in their support of him. They were sweet and funny at the same, you know what I mean if you've ever spent extended time around a group of 7 year olds. They started out "ratting him out",

"He did this today; he did that today.'

Then the whole table of 8 jumped into a discussion about why he was upset today and how I really shouldn't be mad at him because,

"He was just too anxious, he couldn't help it," as one little dimpled darling informed me.

"Yeah, it got too loud for him and he just started doing THIS!" chimed in another, while demonstrating by putting his hands over his ears.

"I tried to help him by saying, 'calm down, calm down' but it was too late and Mr. Jones had to come and get him," claimed a third, in a matter of fact facsimile of an adult.

I was so thankful to know that despite his challenges, he is liked and valued by his peers; these kids, some of whom have known him since they started kindergarten together, have learned to adjust to his outbursts and seek to help him when possible. Even if some adults are unable to recognize it, these babies know what I know: my Heart and Soul is a wounded but beautiful soul and is someone definitely worth fighting for.