Complex characters

I am an observer of human nature, increasingly so lately, I suppose, as I'm trying to gain some clarity in order to more realistically "draw" characters in my writing. I tend to examine not only the people around me, but myself as well; examining behavior, wondering about motivations and fears. While I may never fully know the in's and outs, or wherefores, hows and whys of why people do the things that they do I am coming to understand that people are a lot more complex and deeper than most realize.

I'll take myself as an example: people experience me differently depending on the context of our encounter and the nature of our relationship. For example, the person that I present at work or to the world at large, is different from the one that my son experiences. I display another aspect of me to my family of origin and close friends. Even the person that I know or think I know myself to be, is different from the person the average person thinks they know. They are all me, not fake. But one cannot fully understand WHO I am based on my behavior or responses in one setting. I am neither of those aspects alone, but the real me is the combination of all of those faces and personas.

In my head, I picture myself as kind, compassionate, loving, loyal. I do my best to treat people fairly; I'm not a gossip, and I refuse to let people downgrade or insult the innocent or helpless in my presence. But, there are times, when I hear horrible words emerge from my mouth, or I'll respond so coldly to the wrong person at the wrong time, that I make Scarface look lukewarm. I know that most people have private and public faces; some more ugly than others. The sweetest person can behave in the most ugly of ways if approached on the wrong day and time; this duality is simply the nature of man.

Mad Men, a new original drama series on cable's AMC's, that I've spoken of before here, is a fine example of some writer's attempt to capture the richness of human complexity. I have a love/hate relationship with several of the characters on this show. I have been drawn into their lives and experience them as familiar people. Several of these characters, at least on first glance are reprehensible. Don Draper, one of the lead characters is an old school misogynist. He regularly and routinely cheats on his wife, he comes and goes as he feels like it, with little apparent regard for the people around him. He considers women to be his reward for his hard work, and for Don, there is a clear delineation between women you marry and women you f#*k!

And just as you are about to dismiss him as a rat, you observe his acts of kindness to underdogs. He adores his children and is a loving father. He speaks kindly and respectfully to the black janitors and waiters who serve him, talking to them as people, not as invisible arms and legs. He rescues one of his single, female staffers who becomes pregnant. And on one occasion, threatens to physically hurt a man who was making a bawdy joke in the presence of a middle aged woman in an elevator. Yes, he can behave like a pig, but unless you're looking carefully, you might miss the humanity behind this facade.

Now, I recognize that this program is drama, the reflection of one or a group of people's imaginings, however, there is truth here, like in the adage, 'Art Imitates Life'. I recognize the truth that I need to infuse into the characters I write. But I can also see the value in holding this truth close in my day to day interactions with others. It doesn't make sense to make global judgments about people based on one or two isolated incidents. These will not fully define the person you're looking at. The answer, like the question is much more complex.