Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Resurrection

Wow. I just realized that it's been more than a month since my last post. Things got a little bit worse for me, emotionally, and I realized that I seriously needed to just STOP. So, I stepped back from EVERYTHING for awhile and spent some serious "me" time, trying to sort through some unresolved issues and regaining my sense of self.

Sometimes, I think I seriously buy into the theory that I am Superwoman. And while I think I am a "super" woman, I don't have any super powers and I need to recognize that from time to time.

So, I stopped. No blogging, writing, exercising, or socializing. I stopped trying to solve my family and friend's problems and struggles and focused all of my attention on mine. This was probably the hardest part of my break, because the people in my world are used to me being open to them anytime, any place. But, dag, y'all, my plate was FULL! And I didn't have anyone to empty my load on. So, a few feelings have been hurt.

I narrowed my focus down to my child and my job. The phones were disconnected and the inbox in my email got larger and larger. I got my cry on, a lot. . . often. . .multiple occasions. . . as often as it took for me to fully release. To some, this might seem extreme, and it probably is, but for me, it was just the thing I needed to regain control over my emotions and thoughts and regain my connection to God, and subsequently, peace.

I celebrated my birthday in March on the Gulf coast with my "boys", walking up and down the beach, collecting shells and allowing myself to be pampered and fussed over. We recently traveled again to Huntsville AL to the NASA Space Museum, with my son's Cub Scout troop. Now, one could ask how traveling with a group of 7-10 years old be relaxing, but kids this age are just so much fun to me. Listening to their excited chatter and joy in just being, was like manna from heaven and a balm to my soul.

I have missed my blog buddies and I'll probably spend the next couple days catching up on everything I've missed. I pray that all have been well with you and despite my absence, you were never far from my thoughts.