Friday, March 20, 2009

Lent Update

I feel like I've been out of touch for awhile, even though I continue to post my writing updates two to three times per week.

I continue to experience anxiety attacks and no one is more surprised by this than me. The consensus is that this is a result of accumulated stress from the fall and now that I am clear of the worst of it, my subconscious worries are making themselves conscious.

Well, whatever it is, it SUCKS!! Mostly because I never know when one will happen. This makes it so much worse for me cuz I know I am such the control freak. Anyway, as with most things, this too will pass.

In the meantime, work on the novel is progressing swimmingly. I'm just at 30,000 word count and the murky middle doesn't feel quite so murky anymore. Each day, it becomes a little bit clearer how I will work Ima, Micah and David out of their latest disaster.

The other part of my Lenten resolution was daily exercise. I am proud to admit that I have worked out 5-6 days since I started.

A friend of mine recommended the P90X program (yes, the one on the Infomercial) with trainer Tony Horton. That is an intense workout, designed for folk already in reasonable shape. These are the results my friend had after 90 days with P90X.

I've been living a couch potato lifestyle for a minute, so I figured this program would be more than I could handle right now. Instead, I chose the Power 90 program with the same trainer; supposedly, I'm also going to be ultra fine in 90 days. It's less intense than P90X, but effective in muscle definition and improved cardio. I cuss Mr Horton out daily, but I am definitely seeing results. I highly recommend this program. I just started my third week and I have lost 7 pounds and 10 inches all around.

So, that is more or less what's going on with me right now. My child is doing GREAT and experiencing a growth spurt. I'm going broke trying to keep him in pants and shoes that fit. Emotionally, he's in a great place. Now, just a typically hard headed 7 year old boy!!

Anyway, I'm back to editing. Have a great weekend!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Writing Challenge update

Over a thousand words in a minute?? Oh, yeah, that would make me SUPER WRITER!! However, I'm not, I'm just a goofy writer who hit the wrong button at the right time. I believe this word count is for 40 minutes.

Happy Writing!



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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Writing Challenge update

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No tears

I mentioned in an earlier post that I have self-diagnosed myself with Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have been really please this season because I have worked really hard not to give in to the sadness and withdrawal that typically overtakes me in the dark winter months.

In fact, just two days ago, I was telling a friend "all you gotta do is keep busy and maintain your focus outside of yourself. THAT's the key."

Oh, how wrong I was.

See, I'm a crier. I am a firm believer in the healing properties of a good cry. Don't get me wrong, I'm not running around my office crying every time I can't have my way; didn't say I was a "cry baby", just a crier. I release my stress, anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration, joy, love, whatever emotion, you name it, I typically express it through my tears.

I can't remember the last time I cried. When we were going through the stress at the school, I was mad as hell, but no tears. When struggles came up in my love life, I threw tantrums and cajoled or ignored, but no tears. A co-worker or two have been gently cussed out, but no tears. My mother did her best to ruin our Christmas, I assertively told her to put satan behind her, but no tears.

Monday, I received a call that a close friend, an elderly gentleman in my church passed away Sunday. He wasn't blood family, but he was the sweetest, most genuine person I have met in a long time. I admired his dignity in coping with his illness, his faith in God. I admired the love and dedication he shared with his wife, who was perhaps 20 years his junior. My son also adored him. Anyway, he died at home Sunday afternoon, just the way he wanted.

My response? No tears.

As I type, I can think of multiple other stressors that have emerged over the past 4 or 5 months. Nothing major, but when they accumulate, and here's the key, WITHOUT release, eventually your mind and body will call HALT!

Monday night, mine did.

I woke up about midnite in the middle of an anxiety attack. For those of you who have not experienced this, it was the most frightening thing ever. I've never had one before. I have worked with people who have them, I have read and studied them, but never had the unique *ahem* pleasure myself.

I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn't catch my breath, I felt a weight pressing down on my chest, my hands were trembling. At one point my left arm was hurting and, well, I started crying then, because I was convinced that I was about to die and that my son would have to find me in the morning and I knew he would not know what to do or how to cope.

I was a mess.

Anyway, at some point I realized that this was anxiety; tried meditation and deep breathing. All the stuff I teach my clients to do in this case. None of it worked. I finally fell into a shallow sleep after taking a Benadryl and a Mojito. (I hope none of my clients ever read this).

I spoke to one of my colleagues when I got to work Tuesday morning and was prescribed (temporarily) something to take the edge off and then was ordered home to do nothing but cry.

I took the meds, but unfortunately, didn't go home or take the time for the cry. Which is how I got myself into this mess to begin with. But I didn't want to scare my son with the kind of crying I needed to do. But he will be away from home for awhile today, so I'll start my *therapy* then.

The funeral is Saturday and we'll go and say our goodbyes. And then I think we're going to take a road trip. The beach may be calling us this weekend. Keep us in your prayers.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Writing Challenge update

This past weekend was very productive. I spent most of the time editing and planning for future chapters. I'm rather surprised at the effort that is going into this process. I mean, I know how the book begins and I've already figured out an explosive ending, right? So, one would think the middle would be relatively simple. NOT.

So, I have, not lowered my expectations, just made them more realistic. I will continue with my Lenten plan to free-write, just so I can get as much done as possible in as timely a manner as I can, but I also need to factor in developing my "road map".

Anyway, I am pleased to announce that I have written over 23,000 words so far; I expect the book will be complete somewhere between 80,000 and 90,000 words. I managed to write three more chapters, however, I did not use the word count program. You can see I've still got quite a ways to go. But after this weekend, my view is much clearer.

Happy Writing!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Writing Challenge update

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Pugilist Update

I arrived to collect my child yesterday and before I could get into the door good, two little fellows about 8 or 9, NOT MY child, met me at the door with a hug. Once I stepped back, I realized that these were the two fellas who'd been fighting with my son for the past couple weeks. You might remember these kids? One involved a black eye and scratches?

Seconds later, my son joined us in a group hug. I finally deciphered from their excited chatter that they had resolved whatever conflict that had been going on between them. They were now best friends, and wanted me to know that they were just "play wrestling" now and no longer fighting.

I gave all three of them a hug and kiss and praised them for making good choices.

Then I thanked God!

I knew that my child needed to learn how to work through these types of problems on his own, that this was only the first in a long line of conflicts he would have to resolve. Without me.

But I wanted God to know how very much I appreciated the happiness and companionship that was exuded by these children. The pride on their faces at handling this without adults was a joy to behold. So what if it took blackeye, a couple fists, and rolls on the floor? They worked it out!

Of course, I'm not so far removed from my childhood that I don't realize that this whole situation could start all over again next week. But for now, I am so happy!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Writing Challenge update

I didn't free write tonight. Instead I spent two hours or so, writing long hand, trying to work out a plot detail with one of my favorite characters, David. I like to work the details out in advance of actually writing a scene; it just makes the process run more smoothly.

I'm now ready to write this scene for Wednesday's challenge.

Happy writing!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Writing Challenge update

This has been a very productive weekend. I am on target with my goal of writing 5 days a week, free hand, free thought, no editing. The weekend was spent editing chapters and working through a couple tricky plot points that had been driving me MAD!! But I finally figured them out, which should make things much easier now during my free writing times.

Happy Writing!!


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President Obama's Budget

10 things you should know about Obama's plan (but probably don't)

The plan:

  1. Makes a $634 billion down payment on fixing health care that will go a long way toward paying for a more efficient, more affordable health care system that covers every single American.3
  2. Reduces taxes for 95% of working Americans. And if your family makes less than $250,000, your taxes won't go up one dime.4
  3. Invests more than $100 billion in clean energy technology, creating millions of green jobs that can never be outsourced.5
  4. Brings our troops home from Iraq on a firm timetable, finally bringing the war to a close—and freeing up almost ten billion dollars a month for domestic priorities.6
  5. Reverses growing income inequality. The plan lets the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans expire and focuses on strengthening the middle class.7
  6. Closes multi-billion-dollar tax loopholes for big oil companies. 8
  7. Increases grants to help families pay for college—the largest increase ever.9

  8. Halves the deficit by 2013. President Obama inherited a legacy of huge deficits and an economy in shambles, but his plan brings the deficit under control as soon as the economy begins to recover.10
  9. Dramatically increases funding for the SEC and the CFTC—the agencies that police Wall Street.11
  10. Tells it straight. For years, budgets have used accounting tricks to hide the real costs of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Bush tax cuts, and too many other programs. Obama's budget gets rid of the smokescreens and lays out what America's priorities are, what they cost, and how we're going to pay for them.12
This is the change we voted for. President Obama has done his part, now we need to do ours.

Thanks for all you do.

–Daniel, Tanya, Peter, Justin and the rest of the team

P.S. Turns out there are way more than 10 amazing things in Obama's budget and we couldn't resist sharing just a few more.

  1. Stops unnecessary government subsidies to big banks, health insurance companies and big agribusinesses.13,14,15

  2. Expands access to early childhood education and improves schools by investing in programs that make sure every child has a qualified, strong teacher.16
  3. Negotiates for better prescription drug prices using Medicaid's tremendous bargaining power.17
  4. Expands access to family planning for low-income women.18
  5. Caps the pollution that causes global warming, and makes polluters pay to support clean energy innovation.19
Sources:

1. "Climate of Change," The New York Times, February 27, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/27/opinion/27krugman.html?em

2. "Obama Calls His Budget Sweeping, Needed Change," The New York Times, February 28, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51201&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=2

3. "Obama Offers Broad Plan to Revamp Health Care," The New York Times, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51202&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=3

4. "Obama Expects Fight Over $3.55 Trillion Budget Plan," Bloomberg News, February 28, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51203&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=4

5. "Energy Budget Is Sunlight After Eight Years of Darkness," Center for American Progress, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51204&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=5

6. "The Economic Cost of War in Iraq and Afghanistan," The New York Times, March 1, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/01/weekinreview/01glanz.html

7. "Tax Cuts," The New York Times, February 26, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/27/washington/27web-tax.html

8. "Energy Budget Is Sunlight After Eight Years of Darkness," Center for American Progress, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51204&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=6

9. "Student Loans," The New York Times, February 26, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/27/washington/27web-edu.html

10. "Obama unveils budget blueprint," CNN, February 26, 2009
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/26/budget/

11. "Obama budget would boost SEC, CFTC, FBI," Reuters, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51205&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=7

12. "Obama's budget," Los Angeles Times, February 27, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51206&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=8

13. "Student Loans," The New York Times, February 26, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/27/washington/27web-edu.html

14. "Health Insurance Stocks Dive on Medicare Advantage Cuts," The Wall Street Journal, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51207&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=9

15. "Agriculture," The New York Times, February 26, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/27/washington/27web-agri.html

16. "Investing Wisely in Our Children," Center for American Progress, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51208&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=10

17. "Obama Offers Broad Plan to Revamp Health Care," The New York Times, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51202&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=11

18. "Obama Offers Broad Plan to Revamp Health Care," The New York Times, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51202&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=12

19. "Setting 'Green' Goals," The New York Times, February 26, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=51209&id=15687-12460663-ro93sBx&t=13