Love List continued

I've said this before and I think it bears repeating. . . the Love List works! I 'love' the karma that has come my way since I started this list. Old friends and family are loving me better, I'm making new friends, my new blog support family (shoutouts to MsKnowItAll, The TrueUrbanQueen, GlenysLuckyMama, and others, for your recent support in times of mad stress) is growing.

I feel my aura expanding all around me, my mojo is on pointe and the pheromones are poppin'. I've been approached, I have approached; I have flirted, chatted up, winked at whoever catches my eye. I am eagerly anticipating the embodiment of my Love List to finally arrive.

Today's incident, however, has me thinking that I need to refine my list of 100. I need to narrow my focus just a bit. I stopped by what used to be my favorite BBQ place for lunch. The new owner was behind the counter as usual; a portly, friendly older man whose age I estimated to fall somewhere in the 60's. He greets me from across the restaurant as I enter:

"Hey, there's my friend! Where you been hiding?"

I mumbled something about work and also trying to stay out of his place due to the high cholesterol and fat content of most of the items on his menu. He laughed and said, predictably enough,

"Let me worry about you getting fat. I think I'd like you even if you did get bigger. Just as long as you keep your beautiful smile and dimples."

Yeah, whatever dude.

"I really do like you though. I like your dark skin complexion, I like what you do with your hair. I like the way you dress; you take the time to put effort into your appearance. You should see some of the folk that come up in here."

So, I'm nodding and smiling and thinking, "can I place my order?" He even comments on the fact that I'm carrying a novel with me, because I had every intention of catching up on a few chapters while I enjoyed my lunch. But he kept talking about this and that, my reading time was slowly dwindling away.

Ok, so at one point, he even comes around the counter and steps inside my comfort zone. Mind you, I'm comfortable around people, and I like being near folk and touching them, generally, so my zone is probably smaller than most people. So, when I start stepping back, you know, he was getting waaaaayy too familiar.

So, he'd been getting his mack and flirt on for about 15 minutes, the food has been ordered and prepared and delivered to me. I can't recall how we reached this point in the conversation, but he inquired about my age. I told him I was likely older than he thought, and he kindly suggested that I couldn't be more than 31 or 32 years old.

Yeah, ok. So, I did say he was macking, right?

Anyway, I told him my actual age, and he moved in a little closer and then started undressing me with his eyes. I called him on it,

"Hey, you, where'd you go? I'm right here, my eyes are located a little north from where you are now!"

"No, no, no," he caught himself, "I didn't mean any disrespect. I'm just a little surprised. Now I'm even more convinced that you have no business still being single."

"What do you mean?" I stupidly inquired.

"Well, women your age are at their sexual peak and prime. You really need to be with someone on a regular basis who can help you satisfy your needs."

All right. I stopped smiling and felt my skin crawl. Talk about uber creepy! I thought I had been having a little light, harmless flirtation with an older gentlemen, who looks every bit of my father's age of 75. And this . . . ewwww. . . had his mind in some waaay other icky place.

I suddenly looked down at my watch and discovered I didn't have time to eat in after all, and asked to have my food placed in a take out. As I'm trying to leave, he's inviting me to come back for dinner 'on the house' on Friday and then suggesting that if I played my cards right, I wouldn't ever have to go back to work again.

Ok, so, the mojo is working, that's the good news. But I need to inform the universe of some changes and modify my list just a bit to include the following:

91. He is between the ages of 30 and 50; strictly enforced.

92. He understands the difference between mild flirting and perversion.

93. He recognizes that I am no where near anybody's sugar baby and is glad about it.

94. He is sensitive to the verbal and nonverbal cues of people he interacts with. He checks in to make certain that his advances are appreciated and desired before pushing forward his own agenda.

95. I find him physically and sexually appealing.