Celebrating successes

Thursday's 504 meeting at the school went relatively smoothly. I'm a little cautious about an all out celebration because we've been here before and have had the rug pulled out from under us. So, for now, I'll just say that there was no bloodshed, no wounds, no weapons.

One factor that made a significant difference, I believe, was the presence of our therapist. She did most of the talking for us and I was able to sit back and look cute. There was a little ugliness initially as the teacher, principal and guidance counselor read down a list of his prior sins (so unnecessary to me; let's focus on what's happening right now); I had to sit on my hands and pop a mint in my mouth to keep from speaking. However, once our therapist introduced the change in our treatment philosophy about my son's emotional issues (his regulatory system is underdeveloped due to early trauma and neglect), there seemed to be a sigh of release from all present, and a more collaborative spirit settled in the room and we were able to keep the conversation focused on identifying behavioral strategies to be implemented by both the staff and my son, that may help him to be more successful. I had the feeling that everyone walked away feeling optimistic about the next few weeks.

Please keep us in your prayers. My son has been happier, at home at least, for the past several weeks. I've observed him repeating to himself, "it doesn't have to be perfect" and asking for help when he needs it (a huge step for him), especially when we're doing homework. We have continued with our nightly bonding activity; we compromised on the bath and lotion thing. He bathes himself and I put lotion on him and we cuddle, chat and speak love things to each other before saying our prayers and settling in for bed.

I think I also saw an example of his improved ability to regulate himself last night. We had a special guest minister at our church last night. Normally, my son would have been with his buddies in the nursery during worship services, however, the nursery was closed last night due to repairs, which meant that he had to remain with me in the sanctuary. Just as the service started, he looked back and spotted two of his favorite buddies and their mom sitting a couple pews behind us. He asked to go sit with them and I agreed. I kept looking back to make certain he was "all right", but after awhile, I realized that my concerns were unfounded. Ordinarily, this would've been a highly stressful situation (sensory overload) for him due to the crowded mix of people and the loud sounds from the music, choir and minister. At one point, however, I looked back and he was sitting quietly in his chair sharing a book with his buddies and another time, writing in a tablet the other mother had provided for them. Ok, some of you may be saying, "and? your point?" Because, yes, I know, this is entirely age appropriate, age expected behavior for most 7 year olds. This has not however, been the norm for MY 7 year old but I'm prayerful that it will become so.