A New Beginning

I’m sure that I’m not the only one eagerly looking forward to 2009! I can’t wait to see what the coming year holds in store for my family. Especially since, when I look back over some of my life experiences during 2008, my only response is a heartfelt,

“Whew! Glad that’s over!”

2008 produced an onslaught of job stress, family crises, conflicted relationships, and straining finances; I’m still trying to recover from pulling up at the gas station to see Regular Unleaded gas sold for $3.88!

We dealt with an uncooperative and at times, hostile, school system. I personally struggled to resolve a longstanding family issue. Unfortunately, I don’t always handle stress well. So, let’s add to the list a few extra pounds and insomnia.

But as low as my circumstances were this the past year, I am blessed by the knowledge that it could have been much worse. Every time I’m tempted to complain, I remember who is in control of not only my blessings but my trials as well.

In the midst of every crisis I’ve encountered, God was all over it. Yes, gas prices were absolutely horrid this year, but I didn’t walk once or ride a bus. Problems at school kept me on my knees, but the job I just started in March, allowed me to modify my schedule, making it possible to homeschool my child and remove him from that hostile environment. Dr John Guns from Jacksonville Florida arrived at ATOP in the spring, just when I had reached my emotional bottom. He spoke of how unresolved hurts kept us in bondage and emphasized the need to forgive those who hurt us. Forgiveness will set you free, he said. He was right! And . . . God allowed me to witness the election of the first African American president in the history of the United States!

And so, because of my financial crises, I’m a much better manager and steward over my finances. My relationships are slower to reach crisis point because of my renewed ability to listen with my heart instead of my ears. Even my productivity at work is improved in response to my gratitude. Oh, and because I’m getting better at turning my crises over to the Lord and learning to give Him praise even in the midst of my trials? I’ve lost 5 pounds! Yay! I’m also a little less cynical about the mindset of the American people or maybe, I can just see that there are others like me, who are finally ready for real change.

So, yes, I am grateful to see the end of 2008.

Whew! Glad that’s over!

I can’t wait to see God’s miracles of 2009.

Joy

I hope each of you enjoyed your Christmas Day festivities.

We had an awesome day. I had several friends in town for the holidays and it was wonderful to catch up with them face to face.

I was assigned the "Best Mommy In the Whole World" award on Christmas morn and that kept a smile on my face for the next several days!

There were a few glitches; can't have a holiday without it, right? A couple people thought they would take the opportunity to spoil the milk, but fortunately, I was feeling way too good to give them purchase. My new motto is, "you're going to be unhappy before I give you the opportunity to f*&^ up my day!"

I'm now trying to get my mind back on work. Monday morning will come way too soon, so I have to start preparing now.

I hope that each of you had a blessed weekend!

Merry Christmas

We wish everyone

a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

Jesus Christ is the Reason!

The Rings: A short film study by Nequella Demery

I just watched a great short film by a friend of my friend. Nequella Demery is an up and coming filmmaker. She has written and directed "The Rings" which is currently highlighted on YouTube.

So, make sure you check out her film, "The Rings". View it and leave comments on the site and then tell your friends and family because the more people who watch it, the better "heat" it will generate on the YouTube User Community.

The Three Little Pigs Killed Santa

I've been having an on-again, off-again discussion (argument) with my son about Santa Claus. Trying to convince this child of mine that Santa is NOT the reason for the season is like trying to light a match in a windstorm. Of course, mommy doesn't know everything (in his 7 year old mind) and my argument is weakened by the fact that everything around us says otherwise.

Every holiday themed cartoon is about Santa or Rudolph or the Polar Express, I mean, where IS Jesus??

I have been clear from day one . . . there is no big, fat, white man sliding down our chimney to bring us ANYTHING! And just when I thought the message finally hit home, some friends took him to the mall to see a black Santa. Now, he thinks he's finally won the argument.

"See, mommy? Here's the picture. And you're right, he's not white, he's black!!"

Ok. So maybe. . . I'll just show him this clip and tell him that the Three Little Pigs ate him?

Well . . . maybe not.

Bad mommy!!

Kiaya's New Renaissance

I love the Harlem Renaissance. I think what appeals to me most is the conscious decision made by many black artists and intellectuals of their time to live free, both in thought and deed, despite the dictates of what society and even members of their own culture decided was proper.

You probably know several of the more well known artists and writers of the time: Zora Neale Hurston, Langston Hughes, Wallace Thurman, Paul Lawrence Dunbar and Alain Locke. Wikipedia says:

Challenging white paternalism and racism, African-American artists and intellectuals rejected merely imitating the styles of Europeans and white Americans and instead celebrated black dignity and creativity. Asserting their freedom to express themselves on their own terms as artists and intellectuals, they explored their identities as black Americans, celebrating the black culture that had emerged out of slavery and their cultural ties to Africa.

You see evidence of this in Ms Hurston's "Their Eyes Were Watching God"; have you ever read a more liberating experience for a black woman, hell, any woman, in the 1920's, to look in the eyes of her community and defiantly decide to live her life according to her own terms and love in her own way?

Wallace Thurman was another who constantly challenged people around him; they were often mistaken and then angered to find that within his very dark skin housed a highly intelligent and creative man. Oh, and the fact that he was openly gay too just kinda pissed people off.

I recently ran across the works of one of the lesser known Renaissance Niggerati, Richard Bruce Nugent; writer, actor, artist, unconventional personality. He died in 1987 in poverty, and was the subject of a 2004 movie "Brother to Brother."

I almost overlooked this movie because it was promoted as a love story between two gay men, one young, the other old. Fortunately, I gave it my usual 15 minute test; that is, if you can't capture and hold my attention in the first 15 minutes of a movie, then I change the channel.

I'm so glad I did. This movie was so much more than gay sex/love. It was a creative biography of Mr. Nugent's life and experiences with his fellow Renaissance artists. He offered first hand accounts about Langston, Zora, Wallace and others. He is probably LESS known because he chose to LIVE his life rather than WRITE about it. His only novel, "Gentleman Jigger", while written in the 1920s, was not published until 2002.

His friend, Thomas Wirth wrote: Nugent was persistently unconventional in both his life and his work. He refused to pursue a "career." He refused to permit others to impose on him their definitions of who he ought to be either as an artist, an African American or a "man." He insisted on freedom when freedom was not allowed.

"Freedom when freedom was not allowed." Can you see how powerful this is? This is the new driving philosophy of my life. Just wait.

The Countdown Tag

I have been tagged by my blog friend TrueUrbanQueen. I'm laughing at her taggin' folk, since she has this interesting habit of ignoring when someone tags her. But that's all right. . . I'm going to be obedient, mostly because this is one of the more interesting exercises I've seen.

So the rules are:

Link back to the person who tagged you. (I did it, see above)
Answer the questions (I'm going to do my darndest, see below)
Tag 7 other bloggers (just as soon as I think of the ones most likely to cooperate)
Let them know in the comments they were tagged. (will do)


10 random things about me:

I am a speed hound.

I have one child and two dogs.

I wear my hair natural, mostly twists, braids, and 'fros.

I have never smoked a joint, BUT

I can out drink anyone at a party.

I love the color purple.

I am becoming a writer (I just need a tad more discipline).

I am the oldest of four children (see where the bossiness comes from?).

I am a mental health therapist but. . .

I do not try to analyze people I meet socially (too damn much work!!).



9 ways to win my heart:

Give me yours

Pay attention

Put in time and effort

Call during day/night, send emails, texts

Love my child

Don't expect intelligent conversation before 9 am

Don't judge or hold me or my actions to your ex's unrealistic standard

Don't limit yourself or me

Lots of great sex



8 things I want to do before I die:

See my child grow into a successful adulthood

Complete and publish at least two novels

Win the lottery and never HAVE to work again, though I probably will.

Get married

Have another child (either by birth or adoption)

Take a year (or two) off to work in Africa (the conscripted child soldiers have my heart)

I would like to own a high performance sports car and drive it up to or more than 130 mph

Eat like I want to without worrying about gaining weight



7 ways to annoy me:

Call me on the phone, start talking non stop, as if you and I are already in the middle of a long conversation and then express annoyance when I ask you what you're talking about.

Tell me what I'm doing wrong with my child and parenting in general

Expect that I will cook for you rather than simply enjoying it when I do

Unsolicited advice (about anything)

Talk badly about the elderly, the infirm, or children, in front of me

Call me anything BUT a child of God

Expect me to be ANYWHERE before 10 am on the weekends



6 things I believe in:

God

Family

Loyalty

The power of prayer

The value of alone-time

Joy found in my child's smile



5 things I am afraid of:

dying and making my child an orphan, again

confined spaces

rejection

failure/mediocrity

chronic illness



4 of my favorite things

Chocolate and Merlot

Reading/Writing

casual time with friends

a man who gives pedicures



3 things I do daily:

Tell my child that I love him

Hug somebody

Express my gratitude to God about anything He has done at any given moment



2 things I want to do within the hour:

make love

go to sleep (not necessarily in this order)



1 person I want to see right now:

my lover


I tag the following bloggers
CaliDreams
IAMME
KayC

I know this isn't a list of 7, but everyone else has already been tagged!

White House Butler

Eugene Allen, 89, a retired White House butler, tries on his old tuxedo for a photo. Allen, who served eight presidents during a period when America 's racial history was being rewritten, is marveling at the election of Barack Obama.

Now retired, he started when blacks were in the kitchen.
By Wil Haygood
November 7, 2008

Reporting from Washington -- For more than three decades, Eugene Allen worked in the White House, a black man unknown to the headlines. During some of those years, harsh segregation laws lay upon the land.

He trekked home every night to his wife, Helene, who kept him out of her kitchen.
At the White House, he worked closer to the dirty dishes than to the Oval Office. Helene didn't care; she just beamed with pride.

President Truman called him Gene. President Ford liked to talk golf with him. He saw eight presidential administrations come and go, often working six days a week.

"I never missed a day of work," Allen said.

He was there while racial history was made: Brown vs. Board of Education, the Little Rock school crisis, the 1963 March on Washington , the cities burning, the civil rights bills, the assassinations.

When he started at the White House in 1952, he couldn't even use the public restrooms when he ventured back to his native Virginia . "We had never had anything," Allen, 89, recalled of black America at the time. "I was always hoping things would get better."

In its long history, the White House -- note the name -- has had a complex and vexing relationship with black Americans.

"The history is not so uneven at the lower level, in the kitchen," said Ted Sorensen, who served as counselor to President Kennedy. "In the kitchen, the folks have always been black. Even the folks at the door -- black."

Before Gene Allen landed his White House job, he worked as a waiter at a resort in Hot Springs , Va. , and then at a country club in Washington .

He and wife Helene, 86, were sitting in the living room of their Washington home. Her voice was musical, in a Lena Horne kind of way. She called him "Honey." They met at a birthday party in 1942. He was too shy to ask for her number, so she tracked his down. They married a year later.

In 1952, a lady told him of a job opening in the White House. "I wasn't even looking for a job," he said. "I was happy where I was working, but she told me to go on over there and meet with a guy by the name of Alonzo Fields."

Fields was a maitre d', and he immediately liked Allen.

Allen was offered a job as a "pantry man." He washed dishes, stocked cabinets and shined silverware. He started at $2,400 a year.

There was, in time, a promotion to butler. "Shook the hand of all the presidents I ever worked for," he said.

"I was there, honey," Helene said. "In the back maybe. But I shook their hands too." She was referring to White House holiday parties, Easter egg hunts.

They have one son, Charles, who works as an investigator with the State Department..

"President Ford's birthday and my birthday were on the same day," he said. "He'd have a birthday party at the White House. Everybody would be there. And Mrs. Ford would say, 'It's Gene's birthday too!' "

And so they'd sing a little ditty to the butler. And the butler, who wore a tuxedo to work every day, would blush.

"Jack Kennedy was very nice," he went on. "And so was Mrs. Kennedy."

He was in the White House kitchen the day Kennedy was slain. He got an invitation to the funeral. But he volunteered for other duty: "Somebody had to be at the White House to serve everyone after they came from the funeral."

The whole family of President Carter made Helene chuckle: "They were country. And I'm talking Lillian and Rosalynn both." It came out as the highest compliment.

First Lady Nancy Reagan came looking for him in the kitchen one day. She wanted to remind him about the upcoming state dinner for German Chancellor Helmut Kohl. She told him he would not be working that night.

"She said, 'You and Helene are coming to the state dinner as guests of President Reagan and myself.' I'm telling you! I believe I'm the only butler to get invited to a state dinner."

Husbands and wives don't sit together at these events, and Helene was nervous about trying to make small talk with world leaders. "And my son said, 'Momma, just talk about your high school. They won't know the difference.'

"The senators were all talking about the colleges and universities that they went to," she said. "I was doing as much talking as they were.

"Had champagne that night," she said, looking over at her husband.

He just grinned: He was the man who stacked the champagne at the White House.

Colin L. Powell would become the highest ranking black of any White House to that point when he was named Reagan's national security advisor in 1987. Condoleezza Rice would have that position under President George W. Bush.

Gene Allen was promoted to maitre d' in 1980. He left the White House in 1986, after 34 years. President Reagan wrote him a sweet note. Nancy Reagan hugged him tight.

Interviewed at their home last week, Gene and Helene speculated about what it would mean if a black man were elected president.

"Just imagine," she said.

"It'd be really something," he said.

"We're pretty much past the going-out stage," she said. "But you never know. If he gets in there, it'd sure be nice to go over there again."

They talked about praying to help Barack Obama get to the White House. They'd go vote together. She'd lean on her cane with one hand, and him with the other, while walking down to the precinct. And she'd get supper going afterward. They went over their election day plans more than once.

"Imagine," she said.

"That's right," he said.

On Monday, Helene had a doctor's appointment. Gene woke and nudged her once, then again.. He shuffled around to her side of the bed. He nudged Helene again.

He was all alone.

"I woke up and my wife didn't," he said later.

Some friends and family members rushed over. He wanted to make coffee. They had to shoo the butler out of the kitchen.

The lady he married 65 years ago will be buried today.

The butler cast his vote for Obama on Tuesday. He so missed telling his Helene about the black man bound for the Oval Office.

Haygood writes for the Washington Post.

Feelings

The definition of feelings:

emotional or moral sensitivity or a complex and usually strong subjective human response. Although feeling and emotion are sometimes interchangeable, feeling is the more general and neutral, whereas Emotion often implies the presence of excitement or agitation.

I had hoped that by looking at the definition of this word, I may better understand the hows and whys of feelings. Human beings experience both feelings and emotions about a wide range things, our children, family members, a cute bootie walking down the street, a good book or novel or even a sports event. I particularly like the following description:

The capacity of the soul for emotional states; a high degree of susceptibility of emotions or states of sensibility not dependent on the body.

I think what I am really interested in is not so much the definition, but an understanding of how attachments based on feelings develop and how they are maintained over the long haul.

With my child, the answer is easy. He's mine. We are in the beginning of a lifetime of shared experiences. While he is young, he is dependent on me for his very survival. God gave him a cute smile and charming ways, so that I won't toss him out a window when he pisses me off. I will love this kid and eventual man until the end of my days and there is nothing that can change that.

Grown up attachments based on feelings are not as easily defined. People come together for a variety of reasons, shared or common interests, one has something the other needs or desires, sex/lust, financial resources, whatever.

What I'm less clear about is what maintains that attachment once established. I mean, feelings and emotions are like smoke and they are often situationally based. So, what has happened when you spend years getting to know someone, loving them, sharing your life with them, and then suddenly, one partner or the other loses interest? Or when you meet someone for the first time and KNOW that you will/can love them for a lifetime, and you do? What has happened here?

How is it possible that I can be deeply in love with someone for years and they do one or more stupid things and I feel nothing? Or I can meet someone and within a few weeks develop an attachment so deep that it is maintained, even through periods of no contact at all?

Just curious. . .

Mother/Father

I am both mother and father to my 7 year old son; tends to go with the territory of single parenting. Most of the time, I feel comfortable responding to whichever role my son requires on any given day. Please understand, I don't think I can teach him to be a man; I realize that only another man can do that, but for the basics, I think I'm more than equipped to help.

It helps that I am not "girly". I'm as much woman as the next, but my interests tend to be broader than what is stereotypically female. I like makeup but I rarely wear it. I frequently have spa days and I love having someone give me a pedicure, but you will rarely find my nails painted. I can't stand shopping, I don't gossip, my range of conversation rarely includes the beauty shop, the latest **whatever**, bag, dress, you fill in the blank for whatever works for you.

I competently manage my household and don't look to others to help or assume responsibility. I've got the basics down when it comes to a hammer and nail; I can do small repairs around the house, and I can sew on a button or fix a hem in a pinch.

I have no interest in sports nor do I try to keep up with team sports. But I understand the rules of football, basketball, soccer, baseball and rugby and can hold a fairly decent conversation about either if called upon. This is mostly because I want to be able to follow my son when he leaves the soccer field or basketball court talking about various skills he has.

I refuse to learn how to change a tire on my car or to mow my own lawn. I got into an argument with a former lover, or I should say, I was fussed at by this same person, for my lack of interest in developing these skills.

"You're supposed to be this great feminist. How dare you let other people do things for you?" He accused in outrage. I replied that because I AM a feminist, I have the right to choose to do what I want. Besides, no offense to the men, for I really appreciate that for some, chivalry is not dead, but anytime I look like I need to do either task, some man pushes me out of the way and takes on the responsibility himself. I don't like getting dirty, so this seems perfectly reasonable to me to leave it to the men.

So, I say all this to say, that I feel comfortable responding to most needs of my child. And when the time comes that he needs a little more, I have several male role models available to him on speed dial.

Earlier this week, when, after picking up my son from his afterschool program, he approached me in tears, reporting that BJ had put him in a choke hold and had called his mother (me) an ugly name. Normally, I leave children to work out their own problems; this is after all, part of the socialization process. If I came in as Super Mommy to the rescue whenever he got into trouble, I would be handicapping him. I generally teach him to avoid starting fights with his peers, to find a talking solution to problems and when that doesn't work, tell an adult.

But what I haven't taken into account is that some kids are just plain MEAN! Just because. And it is the nature of boys to be aggressive. So, my way left him with a sense of helplessness and made him a target for bullying. At that moment, I realized how nice it would be if we had a daddy around.

But, we don't have a daddy, right? So that leaves me.

In my typical logical form, I told my son that just because a person says something about another does not make it true. There are some things he should just ignore or laugh off.

And as we got in the car, I added, "and if I hear of you crying because you let another child punk you out, I'm going to punk you! I expect you to try to avoid problems, but if someone hits you or otherwise put their hands on you, I expect you to knock them the "F" out!"

Ok, so I didn't actually say the "f" word to my child, but my meaning was clear. Then we practiced elbow jabs, punches and ways of getting out of choke holds.

I'm doing my best.

Secret

I've been playing true confessions this week, so here's one more. I recently ran across this song again and totally forgot (almost) how much I enjoyed it. This song is solely responsible for my first slippery step into hell. . .

A black woman speaks

a truth revealed

Satan has been whispering in my ear this weekend. I really should've expected this recent attack; my house is becoming peaceful again, and he just has to muck with me about something! This time, he has chosen to get to me through temptation.

Most of the time, I am a self-disciplined person. I take responsibility for my actions and I act according to whether I want to deal with the consequences of my actions. I have a couple friends that repeatedly tell me that I need to relax a bit, and you may feel that way too, but I have developed this strategy of behaving for a reason.

I'm not a good girl.

I know I look that way. I have spent years cultivating this act; sometimes it's so good that I even fool myself. But, between you and me, if I didn't take control of my nature. . . well, let's just say, bad things could happen.

As I said, satan has been burning up my ear this weekend.

Married dude is overall, a good guy. Outgoing personality, friendly, loving father. Despite his calls and texts over the past couple months, he has kept it clean and has not pushed any real barriers.

This weekend, I started it. I threw out the first provocative comment, I am the queen of sexual innuendo and he is the king. I opened the door and he stepped right up to the threshold.

The only thing that stopped me from yanking him all the way through was 1) all of my smack talk was done through texts (gave me a little distance), 2) he does not know where I live (and because we weren't face to face, I resisted the impulse to tell him); and 3) I had not arranged for a sitter.

I'm writing down this pitiful confession because I need to come clean with myself and y'all might help to keep me honest. In an earlier post, I asked about needing the right words to make him leave me alone. I really didn't. I just need to deal with me.

I'm not interested in a relationship with him. Even without a wife and kids, he has some serious character flaws that I know I would be unable to tolerate in the long run. But he has something that I need (and no, I'm not going for the obvious!).

My last relationship ended about a year or so ago. Good man, good father, good provider. He was attracted to my "good girl" persona, which I encouraged, but after awhile, I started giving hints for him to dig a little deeper. He wasn't buying it though.

The beginning of the end of our relationship occurred one night while we were out with friends at a nightclub for a night of jazz. I felt inspired to show him how much I loved him and invited him to join me in the ladies' room, or men's room, at that point I wasn't particular. His face went through a series of changes. . . initially a naughty smile, then shock, and finally disgust when he realized I was perfectly serious. On another occasion, while on vacation, I tried to seduce him on the balcony of our 19th floor, ocean front hotel room. Mind you, this was a little tame for me, but I thought this would be a good compromise for him. He ran inside and grabbed a blanket to cover my nakedness and then began to lecture me on propriety.

I couldn't be myself and he did not want to know the real me.

But married dude?

He was right there with me. In fact, there were at least a couple times, he made my jaw dropped. (I quickly recovered though). He embraced all the loving I had to give and taught me how to even take it up another notch.

That was before I knew he belonged to someone else, of course.

I've been in good girl mode since that last relationship. I'm not willing to subjugate my nature again; I prefer to wait for the right one to come along. In the relationship I felt stifled and was led to believe that my desires, which I had only for him, made me 'nasty' or 'unclean' somehow. This only led to resentment, on both our parts.

But I realize now that I'm giving missed messages; because I need more than what my persona implies. Which made me just ripe for the picking for married dude's latest arrival.

So, obviously, I need to modify my Love List a little more. I don't think I actually said he would have to be single, so I'm saying it now. #102: Must be single. I implied that I needed someone sexually adventurous, but maybe I need to state that more clearly also. #103: Must be sexually adventurous and willing to embrace my "bad girl."

I also need to drop, or at least, lower my good girl act when in mixed company; I've been doing it so long though, that I don't always recognize it until it's too late.

I know my man is out there. I'm not looking for him in Married Dude, or any other attached nut (pun intended).

But, boo, I'm thinking that this would be a really good time for you to show yourself, before I get into real trouble.

Grossology

We traveled about an hour away to visit the Grossology Exhibit. It is a national exhibit that travels to various cities throughout the year. The name really says it all; it is the Science of all that is gross in the body. Perfect for a pair of 7 year olds!!

Our science lesson this past week focused on the human digestive system. The exhibit provides a lesson plan on their website, so we were prepared for much of what we saw on Saturday. Knowing how long it takes for the bladder to fill up, the contents of snot, and the length of time it takes for food to progress from mouth to anus, just made it that more meaningful!

Tempted

It's Saturday night and text messaging is of the devil! This is the only thing I'm going to say about this subject. I need y'all to pray for me. Seriously!





more music charts

Eric Benet

A friend of mine has had Mr. Benet, formerly Mr Berry, on the mind for the past week. So this collection is dedicated to Pam! The pleasure of this visual presentation, however, is purely mine!

He recently talked about his "sex addiction" and treatment to EbonyJet. I find it interesting to watch people backpeddle.

Enjoy!

How Ghetto are you?

Ok, I'm getting back to work now. . .

How Ghetto are you?


My Quiz Result: You aren't really ghetto.


Take this quiz: How Ghetto are you?

You can also take more quizzes, myspace quizzes and fun quizzes on personality, love and other topics.

The World's Easiest Quiz

I actually failed MOST of them. . . that's what I get for playin' instead of workin'


The World's Easiest Quiz


My Quiz Result: You have failed the worlds easiest quiz. You gave more wrong answers than right.


Take this quiz: The World's Easiest Quiz

You can also take more quizzes, myspace quizzes and fun quizzes on personality, love and other topics.

The Hunt

Remember the married dude, the former lover that I did not KNOW was married and who disappeared as soon as I found out; the one that re-emerged a couple months back? I know that it seemed that I'd lost my mind for a few, but I eventually came back to myself. The only reason I'm mentioning him now is that he has yet to stop calling or pursuing me.

He dropped off for a couple weeks after his initial pursuit when I told him that whatever he had in mind for us, sex was no longer up for negotiation. When I failed to beg and plead for him to be my lover again, he came back. For the past month or so, I have some type of contact with him every two or three days. Mind you, I am not initiating any of this contact, nor am I encourage him. But I have to admit to a certain curiosity about his intentions.

I believe that he is one of those men who are turned on by the pursuit and then quickly loses interest once his prey has been captured. When I have shown interest, I can't find him and then when I forget that he exists, I can't escape his attention. I can hear my friends Chez and Vernon in my head asking me why I even care, if I'm not interested in him anyway. And perhaps they have a point, but human nature has always been an interest of mine and I like to know what motivates people to do some of the things they do. I still don't understand why he would have a perfectly nice family at home and still catting around on the side. The ease of his pursuit leaves me with no illusions that I am his only prey either. Why are you married if you want to live like you're single?

Anyway, there's no real point to this post, I'm curious about what your experiences may have been and maybe someone can offer some insight or give me the code word that will make him leave me alone. One of my more goofy friends suggested that I should just sleep with him. . .

Adventures in Homeschooling

As some may know, we made the decision recently to remove my child from the public school system and try homeschooling. This was a difficult process and decision, but the alternative was not to be considered, and so, here we are. No one is more surprised than I am that I could maintain a full time job and meet and even exceed his educational needs. Thank God for an employer who allows me to be flexible in my schedule.

We are now in our second week and my conclusion so far is "why didn't I do this sooner?"

Aside from the fact that I now have TWO full time jobs, the sacrifice is well worth the extra efforts. I have a brilliant little boy!! I can say that without bragging since I did not contribute to his DNA. He absorbs new information like a sponge! I can actually see the excitement about learning returning to his eyes and he eagerly looks forward to each new lesson. I am also gradually seeing a reduction in the anxiety and stress that had become such a part of him in the past few months.

As is par for the course for me, I've been researching my butt off about different homeschooling philosophy, methods and curricula. I naively assumed that I could do a simple Google search for 2nd grade homeschooling, and would find a single unit or recommendation for instruction. Uh. . . NO! Apparently, the predominant idea is that since I have chosen to take responsibility for his education, I can pretty much teach him whatever I want.

One of the recommendations that I am taking to heart is to let my child dictate and guide what and how I will teach. Whichever curriculum I choose should take advantage of his strengths and maximize his weaknesses. The pace of instruction will be dictated by his ability to absorb and internalize the information. I now understand that part of his struggles in the regular classroom is that he does not require a stepwise progression to learning; he is a concept/abstract learner, a big picture thinker. He gets really impatient when I try to teach in increments; ok, his mommy is a big picture thinker too, so things just got really interesting for me!

Even though he is nearly a semester behind, due to all of the chaos that has been going on since September, he reads on a 3rd or 4th grade level. So, I'm KO'ing the weekly Spelling tests and we're now focusing on building Reading Comprehension. Math and Science comes naturally to him too; and so I know I will have to be creative and more experiential in these subjects than I am perhaps comfortable with.

I found a curriculum that I will use as a base, KONOS. It is Christian based and focuses on developing values and character. We start each morning with a brief bible study and each semester is driven by a character theme: our theme for the next several weeks is Obedience. The lessons are active and hands on, with very few paper/pencil, worksheet lessons.

I will supplement KONOS with traditional reading, writing, math, and science lessons because I know that he will, at some point, return to a formal education system, and I want him to have an easy transition.

So, let the adventure begin. . .