Damage control

I haven't posted in awhile about our therapy sessions. We have both been working at hard in our sessions, but as anyone one who has tried probably knows, change is difficult!

While things have improved at home and in other settings, my son's behavior at school has gradually deteriorated. It's been frustrating, for him and me, and I have chosen not to linger on the bad parts, just trying to build up his areas of success. However, a recent incident at school has pushed me to the point where I am about to pull him out of that environment.

Y'all, they broke my baby down on Wednesday!

I received a call from the school that my son was being disobedient and defiant. He was said to be walking in and out of the building without permission and was talking back to the staff. I informed the staff that I was enroute and would be there in about 10 minutes and I would handle him then.

I arrived at the school to find my son, OUTSIDE, standing near the curb of a busy intersection, ALONE, no adult supervision, pacing back and forth and crying his little heart out. You know, the kinda of deep cries where you can't even make noise anymore? Yeah, that!!

He saw me and immediately ran to me. I asked him to wait by the door until I could go in and check him out. When I went inside the cafeteria, where his aftercare program is held, I found about 30 children all lined up at the bank of windows, looking and laughing at my son's distress. The 4 or 5 adults who should have been caring for him, were also at the window. When they saw me, one of them had the decency to start to instruct the children to move away from the window.

I was furious!

I approached the sign-out table and then was loudly informed by the Aftercare coordinator that my son had been suspended from aftercare for 5 days due to his disobedience. I looked at her like the crazy person I now knew her to be and turned away without speaking. Just as I was headed for the door, one of the children cried out,

"Look, he gon, Ms ___, he's running down the street."

I immediately left, panicked that my child was no longer in my line of sight, got in the car and went after him. At this point, he was at the intersection, which was crowded with commuter traffic. A couple parents had gotten out of their cars, looking, trying to see if they could offer assistance. Another car had also stopped, and a strange woman approached my child who was walking, alone, with his little backpack on, crying his heart out.

I called to him and he did not respond. I called again, he looked back and started crying harder! I was finally able to pull my car off the road and park it and as I approached he screamed,

"No, you're mad at me! You don't love me! You don't want to be my mommy and I don't want you for my mommy anymore!"

I didn't say anything in response other than to take him by the hand, hug him and then put him in the car.

Did I hear anything from the school staff, who, for all they knew, my child had been hit by one of the speeding cars going by at that intersection?

NO!

Did any of the adults I pay to care for my child try to go to him, wrap their arms about him, or otherwise try to soothe him? Even though, strangers on the street were trying to do just that?

NO!

My son has not been to school these past two days. The aftercare coordinator has been blowing up my phone. No word from the principal. I contacted the Board of Education and filed a complaint and a request to have us tranferred. Barring that, I wanted information on what I needed to do to inform the state that my son was being placed in a private school setting. If any of you have any advice about this, feel free to offer it up. I need all I can get.

I have spent the last couple days trying to rebuild the damage that incident created in my child. We've been cuddling, rubbing, hugging, and feeding. In our theraplay session last night, our therapist asked my son to identify any hurt places or booboo's on his body and she was going to put lotion on them and make them all go away. After the first few little spots on his legs, I took over. My baby identified hurt spots all over his body, places that I needed to rub and love away. Nearly broke my heart.

He's been at his daycare for the past two days and I plan to keep him there until I can make alterate arrangements. They have also been loving on him and he seems to finally be at peace again.

When asked if he wanted to return to his school, his response to me was a blank stare and a fearful "No."

That's all the answer I needed.